Fitting a square peg into a round hole

I came across a blog post by a pretty well known blogger, erin gates (from elements of style) about "... letting people down by not feeling the hormonal frenzy of motherhood pulsing through [her] veins". The fact that she has the burning desire to travel, explore, work hard and take time to straighten exactly what she wants and need in life totally resonates with me. I also do feel that turning inward on myself will make me a better parent someday down the road, though it might sound selfish.

There is so much excitement in my life right now. Finally having my own mini-office, toying with ideas of possible business ventures, exploring, feeling. And you know, regret is a hard pill to swallow. So what if someday down the road, the kid you have is seven instead of ten? But, I seriously think I will be kicking myself if I had no chance to take up a design course or go for a safari in Kenya (just saying, don't get worried dear hubz) just because I went down the other path (to have a baby) which has no turning back.

Observing people and their bratty kids around me also puts me off and I get absolutely annoyed at parents who just sit around and not do anything to correct their child's acts of defiance. Yes, its a typical part of growing up. Toddlers act out cos they are learning to develop independance. However, having said that, it doesn't mean parents should condone the behavior because its hard to sort through what behavior is simply part of growing up and what indicates a brat-in-the-making. I read that part of that is for the parent to find out through observations what typically causes tantrum eruptions and find a solution to avoid those triggers. Anyway, I am well aware that its definitely easier said than done, which is why until I think I am ready to be effective in parenting ... I will continue to drag rugs and lamps up and down my hallway.

{random picture by yours truly}